Happy birthday, best friend in the world. I am happy and honored to celebrate with you today.

You do not understand how much my life has transformed because of our friendship. Michl LC, McLaughlin KA, Shepherd K, Nolen-Hoeksema S. Humans might not be perfect all the time, but you are one friend that’s perfect for me. Revenge fantasies after experiencing traumatic events: Sex differences. Ghosting in emerging adults’ romantic relationships: The digital dissolution disappearance strategy. LeFebvre LE, Allen M, Rasner RD, Garstad S, Wilms A, Parrish C. Making sense and moving on: The potential for individual and interpersonal growth following emerging adult breakups. I understand you feel that way, but I feel this way: the benefits of I-language and communicating perspective during conflict. Relationship dissolution in the friendships of emerging adults: How, when, and why? J Soc Pers Relation. I’d really appreciate it if you leave her alone forever and ever now. You’re really missing out on a spectacular person who loved you so authentically. By focusing on herself, her girlfriends, and her career, she’s going to be more bloody brilliant than ever.įor all of that, I actually thank you. In the long run, she’s going to be stronger and wiser for putting up with an asshat like you. I can’t wait to see my beautiful friend rebound from this like the champion she is. On the bright side, I know your selfishness has done some good - you’ve perfectly demonstrated everything she doesn’t want in a partner. For activating your Tinder account in the final weeks of the relationship, you proved what a royal douche-lord you really are. We are not just women, we are also secret spies with fantastic bullshit detectors. We are ESPECIALLY good at these two things when our friend’s boyfriend is ON TINDER and has been for months. You mustn’t be aware of how women work whatsoever, so let me educate you a little bit. Are you thick? Did you really think she wouldn’t find out that you were on the most popular dating app of our time? How stupid are you? Like, I actually want to know. That brings me to the Tinder account - your Tinder account. What a cowardly, crappy way to break the heart of the person who trusted you so completely. In case you missed the memo, text messages aren’t an acceptable way to pull a sickie, let alone end a relationship. It’s been great, but all things come to an end. Thank you for all the good stuff, I will remember you as one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. It’s just too much for me, I can’t do that anymore. Yet you chose a text message, the socks-with-sandals equivalent mode of communication. I don’t know what to do with your standards. At least a Post-It note requires a small stationery budget and a pen license. Being your friend breaks down my walls and enables me to be young and. (HINT: You sending a text message after one week of complete silence isn’t respectful neither is saying, “I just want to spend more time with my mates.')Ī text message? I mean… really? REALLY? You’re like a cheap downgrade of Berger from Sex & The City. I wish everyone could experience friendship in all forms as you do. I so desperately wishing you broke it off in a way that acknowledged her heart. I understand you have very little control over who you fall in and out of love with. I’d prefer to throw a tall glass of revenge in your face too, but here I am, hoping that somehow you will stumble upon this, read it, and realize the damage you’ve caused. You see, it turns out society doesn’t look favorably upon angry women (that’s me!) showing up on a dude’s front doorstep and verbally abusing him for crushing their friend’s heart. Let it be said that I would tell you this to your face, but I can’t. While this was just some twisted chapter in your autobiography of sexploits, I have witnessed the rollercoaster, the nervous butterflies, the happiness, the love, and now the aftermath - which will be a puddle of tears and drunken renditions of Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson. Why would I? She was blissfully happy and you, in my books, were delightful. Your family is lucky to have you through all this. Let your friend or loved one know that they are still in your thoughts even after a few weeks or months have passed. One week ago, I didn’t expect to be writing this letter to you. You might send some of these text messages immediately after learning about a loss. To the man who broke my beautiful friend’s heart,

This article originally appeared on Mamamia and has been republished with permission.

Break up paragraphs for best friend